How I Finally Fell in Love with Running (After a Very Long Argument with It)

Wildflower Running Blog · June 2026

How I Finally Fell in Love with Running (After a Very Long Argument with It)

A former Division I athlete's honest story of losing her identity, finding it again, and what running actually means now.

When a Sport Becomes Your Whole Identity

Running used to be everything to me — or at least Track and Field did. I would frame my whole year around the season. It became my entire identity and opened up a world of possibilities I hadn't imagined.

But then, one day, I competed in my final track meet. And just like that, it was over.

As a long-distance runner, the transition out of college athletics is relatively clear — you just keep running. But I was mostly a field athlete. My running was done in short intervals at fast speeds. Anything sustained beyond 400 meters was foreign territory. And as it turns out, there aren't many recreational opportunities to throw a javelin or long jump into a sand pit.

There I was — holding a degree in Exercise Biology and having absolutely no idea how to keep moving.

Finding a New Identity (And Still Not Loving Running)

A few years later, a former teammate got me into obstacle course racing. The running was broken up by strength and agility challenges, so how bad could it be? (Insert maniacal laughter here.)

Over the next four or five years I ran countless races — so many I bought annual passes just to save on entry fees. I loved the challenges, the destinations, the community. But I didn't love the running. It was always something I had to do to access the parts I actually enjoyed. And when running makes up more than half of your race, you can't really hide from it.

A duathlon entry eventually became my next identity. For five years I competed in sprint and Olympic distance multisport events throughout the Pacific Northwest and even completed a half ironman. Swimming, biking, and cross-training made the occasional run feel manageable. I had finally found a way to tolerate long distance running.

I had finally found something to make me tolerate long distance running — nothing could stop me now.

Nothing, that is, except March 2020.

The Year Everything Was Canceled — and What I Found Instead

All my races disappeared. The pools closed. The gyms shut down. I moved back to my childhood home, and cycling was no longer even an option.

All there was left to do was run.

I started out unable to run continuously for half a mile. So, I brought my dog, turned my "run" into a trail walk, and gave myself permission for it to be exactly that. Sixty minutes after work — no pace goals, no race finish lines — just me, my dog, and the trails I grew up around.

That was when I finally, actually fell in love with running. No fancy races, no personal records — just me, my dog, and the trails I grew up around.

Then Came Motherhood — and Starting Over Again

And then came a third reinvention I wasn't prepared for.

Suddenly my time, my body, my perception, my identity — all of it shifted. Box jumps felt risky. A cobra pose didn't feel right. My running endurance, mental and physical, had essentially reset. An "easy 20-minute run" now required 40 minutes of planning just to get out the door.

Is someone watching the baby? Did you pump recently? Have you eaten anything today?

The exhaustion of logistics made returning to something I'd previously loved feel like one more item on an already impossible list. I started feeling more confused, more lonely, more lost.

Learning to Choose Running Differently

Eventually I knew I needed to come back to running — but in a new way. Not a gimmicky program. Not a "new year, new me" challenge. No goal posts, no benchmarks.

Just small moments stepping outside, moving, breathing.

The beginning was frustrating and unfamiliar in its own new way. I was slower. Messier. My mind constantly reminded me I should be faster, stronger than I was. But over time, the same thing that happened on those pandemic trails started happening again — I remembered I don't have to run the way I used to.

I could choose it differently.

My running isn't about proving anything. The flashy internet metrics don't actually translate to real-life happiness. My running is where I get to go now to feel like myself again.

I lace up, put something I love in my headphones, and head out the door. Most days with my dog. Some days just me, my shoes, a podcast, and the world.

Why Wildflower Running Exists

Wildflower Running was born out of this shift in perspective.

A space for anyone learning to let go of pressure, reconnect with themselves, and grow in their own way — at their own pace, in their own season.

Start where you are.
Run your pace.
Because there's no right pace.
Just yours.

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